Edit the first draft of your sales page

Business benefits

Improve your sales page copy by following simple, conversion-focused editing principles that keep your page lean and audience-oriented.

Insert words and phrases from your customer research into your headlines.

Include hard data and rich testimonials in your copy to communicate value to your audience.

Pick hard data and testimonials that help your sales page make your audience an offer they can’t refuse. Make a list of specific, happy outcomes as well as the elimination of specific pain points, then use as much third-party proof and social proof as possible to back up your points.

Reinforce all main points in the draft copy with quantifiable, credible proof.

Audiences don’t expect advertisers to lie, but do consider vague claims as less persuasive. The more specific your copy is, and the more third-party data backs it up, the more credible it appears.

Use descriptive language to avoid lengthy, colorless explanations about your product and its benefits.

Review your sales copy to make sure it paints a picture in your audience’s minds, using one or more of these techniques:

  • Lift word pictures from customers, which are analogies or metaphors that are so on-point that the audience instantly sees, hears, smells, and/or feels them in your mind.
  • Replace general nouns with specific nouns, like front doors instead of entrances.
  • Replace generic adjectives with vivid adjectives, like tough-as-nails instead of sturdy.
  • Replace weak verbs with punchy verbs, like racing to the store instead of going to the store.
  • Call out your reader and their needs.

Use imagery to show, then call out what people should notice with annotations and added copy to tell.

Make your sales page copy clearer and more direct. Tell your reader what they need to know instead of hinting or hoping they will understand implicit messaging.

Prioritize clarity over persuasion to ensure that you can draw in your audience within the first seven seconds of the user’s experience on the page, which research has shown to be the most important time for website optimization.

Cut any copy that is not actively working to drive your audience towards conversion.

Use these questions to determine whether your copy adds value to your sales page:

  • Is it reflecting or matching your audience motivation?
  • Is it conveying or clarifying your product’s value?
  • Is it proving a claim you make?
  • Is it addressing an anxiety your audience has?
  • Is it adding authentic specificity?

If you answer no to any of these questions for any copy on your sales page, remove it from the draft.

This explanation maybe needs a sentence or two with a hyperlink - the link itself just seems a bit out of place.

This can probably be reworded. It doesn’t read well at the “,inluding” part.

The " " can be removed and use italics for easier reading.

This can be reworded as well. Emphasis can be done with italics on the words show and tell. The word both isn’t really needed.

Edits made to address all feedback